Them As Cleaned It

My philosophy; "Them as cleaned it, keeps it.”  Let me explain.  Picture yourself working hard all day and coming home to a massive pile of laundry.  First, does anyone even know where all this laundry comes from?  I think my family changes clothes with each meal or something because this is ridiculous. 

Getting back to my philosophy - Don't you love it when (after you’ve conquered Mt. Everlasting Clothes) you go to transfer clothes from the washer to the dryer and lo and behold, there is a nice clean $5, $10, or $20 bill?  Now, etiquette suggests that you should find the owner of the money and return it.  My philosophy, as previously stated, "Them as cleaned it, keeps it.”  Consider it a return on your investment. 

Now, I can not speak on the clean change.  Well, maybe just a bit.  My suggestion is to give the clean change to the child (if you own children) who can fall asleep the fastest that evening.  The contest might go something like this.  "First, child sleep gets $0.48, no $0.49 cents!”  If your children are young, to them that's a lot of money.  If you have been blessed with pre-teens or teenagers, I would not suggest offering them the clean change.  There is simply no cure for pre-teens or teens.  Just pray and wait for them to grow wiser.

 

Back to the clean money; you must avoid a common pitfall.  As a hardworking woman, you must resist all temptations to spend your clean money on your children or your significant other.  There must be no surprise McDonald's trips, no mini Amazon.com spree, nothing of that nature.  Find yourself a nice coffee shop, get a half caff mocha almond nutmeg something or other and relax.  And for goodness sakes, let "the people" do the laundry for a change.  And by, "the people,” I mean your loving family; hereafter known as "the people."

IMPORTANT SIDENOTE: If "the people" find the clean money; your philosophy must immediately change to, "Them as folds it, keeps it.”  Then start folding.

Sick

Ok, let’s face it.  Men are essentially weak.  This can be the only explanation why a cold will have a man curled in the fetal position.  I will never comprehend how a man can lift a dresser, change a tire, and play football all day; but let that same man get a sniffle and he’s down for the week.  And to compound the issue further, this same man refuses to visit any specialized physician.  Instead, opting to self diagnose themselves with Orange Juice and Vitamin C tablets.  Then, of course, after two weeks of complete helplessness they sing praises of their cure.  I just want to believe that Robitussin would have knocked the cold out in two days. But what do I know?  I never get sick.